Failure?

What is failure?? Is it striving for something and not succeeding? Is it promising yourself you are going to get something done and you do not achieve it? Or is it simply letting yourself down? There have been a lot of ups and downs on this diet that I started a month ago but this week has been the worst. I woke up this morning feeling like a failure, feeling fat and feeling really down about myself and my lack of success in this journey. But then I had to take a step back and look at what I have achieved. I may not be working out every day; I may not eat salads every day for every meal. But I have been able to achieve some things in this past month. I lost 10 pounds, and I’ve kept them off! I have given up French fries (A HUGE THING for me) I have almost completely given up sodas (I can count on one hand the number of sodas I have had in the last month), I am more aware of what I am eating and drinking and I have found a determination in me that I never knew was possible! So does that make me a failure? Am I a failure because this past week I fell so far off the wagon with my diet that I cannot even consider myself on a diet?? I would like to think that answer to that question is no. I haven’t completely given up and thrown in the towel. I haven’t told myself to just forget trying. Every morning, I wake up, and think that today I am going to do something different with my diet. And as long as I continue to think that way, I will not allow myself to think that I have failed. I am still going to try and I am still going to strive to make the best food decisions that I possibly can.

A little background on what my life is like and why I find it hard to diet all week. And I am not saying all this to make excuses because there is no excuse to not eat healthy and make better health decisions for yourself.

I am a stay at home aunt (love it!!) but that also means I am too busy with the kids most of the time to think healthy. I think quick, easy, and convenient. I also stay with my sister a lot of the times. Spending the night with her on Sunday night and not going home until Wednesday and sometimes not going home until Friday. This is probably my biggest obstacle out there. We all know that healthy food is expensive. So when I am staying with family, dieting does not come first. I still strive to make good healthy choices but sometimes there just isn’t a healthy option for me. I also am on the go a lot. I am either going to a training for my jewelry business or going to a softball game or meeting my fiancé somewhere or just going! This is where the dag gone fast food comes in! I will admit it; I am a fast food junkie which is probably why my weight shot up at 203 pounds! But I don’t always like to get salads. If I am busy and in the rush to get somewhere, you can’t exactly cut up a piece of chicken and eat a salad. Let’s be real! The easy choice is a burger, chicken nuggets, or a sandwich. So I have really tried to stick to the chicken and I have not had a burger in a month (oh, that sounds good now)

So I say all of that to say, I’m not giving up! I may be struggling right now, but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop trying. In fact, I am going to try even harder to my make diet a priority in my life. I will never succeed in my weight loss until I make it my main focus. Thanks for keeping up with my in this journey and for asking me how it is going but most of all for your encouragement. It means a lot to know that I have so many people backing me up in this!

One day at a time...